Quotes.

Off-topic posts, quotes of the day and anything else you just would like to vent to the world. PG-13 or below PLEASE!
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Re: Quotes.

Post by Rope-Pusher » Mon Feb 13, 2017 10:19 am

S'more Churchill Quotes that seemed relevant in these trying times we live in:

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else."
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Re: Quotes.

Post by tankinbeans » Sat Feb 18, 2017 9:08 pm

"When this is over, I'm going to have so much sex...but not with you." ~~Nancy Fitzgerald, Supernatural (s. 3, e. 12 -Jus In Bello)
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InlinePaul wrote:The driving force of new fangled features to sell more cars [is to] cater to the masses' abject laziness!

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Re: Quotes.

Post by Rope-Pusher » Wed Feb 22, 2017 11:13 am

Dust covered file cabinet in the back of an abandoned warehouse in Pittsburgh’s Strip District,
​ ​the REAL Murphy’s Laws were discovered …
Here are Murphy’s Truths …
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night!
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.
6. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
7. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
8. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."
9. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
10. Despite the cost of living, it still remains popular.
11. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
12. The 50-50-90 rule:Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
13. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
14. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
15. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
16. The things that come to those that wait, are probably things left by those who got there first.
17. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
18. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
19. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
20. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
21. You start out with nothing, and many still have most of it.
And finally, Murphy’s 22nd Law of Truth:
22. When you go to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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Re: Quotes.

Post by Rope-Pusher » Sat May 20, 2017 12:58 am

The Cow is of the bovine ilk
One end is Moo, the other Milk
-Ogden Nash
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Re: Quotes.

Post by Rope-Pusher » Sat May 20, 2017 1:00 am

ODE TO A COW

When life seems one too many for
you,
Go and look at a cow.
When the future’s black and the
outlook blue,
Go and look at a cow.
For she does nothing but eat her
food,
And sleep in the meadows entirely
nood,
Refusing to fret or worry or
brood
Because she doesn’t know how.

Whenever you’re feeling bothered
and sore,
Go and look at a cow.
When everything else is a fearful
bore,
Go and look at a cow.
Observe her gentle and placid air,
Her nonchalance and savoir faire,
Her absolute freedom from every
care,
Her imperturbable brow.

So when you’re at the end of your
wits,
Go and look at a cow.
Or when your nerves are frayed
to bits,
And wrinkles furrow your brow;
She’ll merely moo in her gentle
way,
Switching her rudder as if to say:
“Bother tomorrow! Let’s live
today!

Take the advice of a cow.”

- The Old Farmer's Almanac 1936
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Re: Quotes.

Post by Rope-Pusher » Sat May 20, 2017 1:07 am

ODE TO A COW
(Garry Moore)

All hail, all hail the noble cow.
To me, O cow, you are a wow.
To you, O cow, I make a vow.
I vow, cow, cow, and shout, "How now?"
I love you, tame and gentle creature.
I'm always very glad to meetcher.
Oh, lift your stately head and toss it,
And let me shake your every faucet.
Oh, let me thank you while I can
For all the things you've done for man.
All hail to you on this your heyday,
For all that ever-lovin' Grade A.
O cow, it's from your skin valise
You give out milk and cottage cheece.
Yes, cottage cheese, the best there is,
Except for camembert and Swizz,
And cream cheese too, so mild and mellow,
Also limburger, strong and smello.
You always give; you never slip.
You are the country's biggest drip.
You don't hold out; you give in quickly.
You always gush; you're never trickly.
Oh, tell me, cow, how do you do it?
Is there something tricky to it?
You chew up hay as fine as silk.
You shake it up, and out comes milk.
O cow, the people of this nation
Owe you much appreciation.
From now until the dimmest future.
Human beings will salute yer.
Everyone adores dear Bossy,
From Toscanini to Jimmy Do'sey.
Each human being, gay or grim,
Partakes of milk and sometimes crim.
You're charming, cow; you have no faults,
And you're behind all chocolate malts.
Each noon the customers at Liggett's
Pay a tribute to your spigots;
So let me tell you, noble cow,
How I do adore you now.
Let me salute your magic udder.
You're my sister; I'm your brudder.
I greet you with heart and stomach full,
O dairy cow, and that's no bull.
And so, in closing, let me state:
You are my favorite vertebrate,
And during milking time, keep hummin'.
Don't worry, dear; the yanks are comin'.
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Re: Quotes.

Post by theholycow » Sun May 21, 2017 11:15 am

Image
1980 Buick LeSabre 4.1L 5MT

Put your car in your sig!

Learn to launch/FAQs/lugging/misused terms: meta-sig
watkins wrote:Humans have rear-biased AWD. Cows have 4WD

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Re: Quotes.

Post by Rope-Pusher » Mon May 22, 2017 10:46 pm

THere's a Holy Cow
In India they're worshipped
GOD it's just a Cow
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Re: Quotes.

Post by Rope-Pusher » Mon May 22, 2017 11:03 pm

I have learned from cows.
They're not all meek and quiet,
Some are grumpy thugs.
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Re: Quotes.

Post by Rope-Pusher » Mon May 22, 2017 11:09 pm

When tipping a cow
Should it be fifteen percent?
Or is that not right?

Can we learn from cows?
They are meek, quiet creatures.
But they love that grass!

When I'm hunting cows
All I need is a hammer
They're such easy prey.

When cows play poker
What do they use for money?
I hope it's not chips!

There are no cattle
That go by the name Fonzie.
They can't give thumbs up.

If cattle wore shoes
Maybe their hooves wouldn't stink.
I've seen where they walk.
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