***Official Joke Thread***

Off-topic posts, quotes of the day and anything else you just would like to vent to the world. PG-13 or below PLEASE!
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ClutchFork
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Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by ClutchFork » Fri Nov 16, 2018 2:29 am

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.

Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
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A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
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A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

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“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her room-mate. “Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce”. “Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?” “He was the original owner!”
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A blonde is walking down the street and stops a man to ask for the time. The man, looking at his watch, helpfully responds “Why, certainly! The time is now four o’clock”. The blonde scratches her head and says “You know, it’s really weird. I’ve been asking people that question all day long, and each time I get different answer!”

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His girlfriend’s father was interviewing Young Charles. “So” said that impressive personage “you want to be my so-in-law, do you?” “Not particularly” said Charles tactlessly “but if I want to marry your daughter I haven’t much choice, have I?”
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...

Rope-Pusher
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Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by Rope-Pusher » Fri Nov 16, 2018 1:49 pm

I like the last one the best.
'08 Jeep Liberty 6-Speed MT - "Last of the Mohicans"

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Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by Rope-Pusher » Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:43 pm

Image
'08 Jeep Liberty 6-Speed MT - "Last of the Mohicans"

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ClutchFork
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Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by ClutchFork » Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:32 am

Image
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...

Rope-Pusher
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Posts: 11002
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:44 pm
Cars: '08 Jeep Liberty
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Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by Rope-Pusher » Wed Mar 25, 2020 4:22 pm

Image


....or safing my crack?
'08 Jeep Liberty 6-Speed MT - "Last of the Mohicans"

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ClutchFork
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Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by ClutchFork » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:17 pm

Image
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...

User avatar
ClutchFork
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Posts: 1637
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Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by ClutchFork » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:21 pm

Image
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...

User avatar
ClutchFork
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1637
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:55 pm
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Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by ClutchFork » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:22 pm

Image
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...

User avatar
ClutchFork
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1637
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:55 pm
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Location: Detroit MI

Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by ClutchFork » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:25 pm

Image

Image
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...

User avatar
ClutchFork
Master Standardshifter
Posts: 1637
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:55 pm
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Location: Detroit MI

Re: ***Official Joke Thread***

Post by ClutchFork » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:30 pm

Image
Stick shiftin since '77
theholycow wrote:Why in the world would you even want to be as smooth as an automatic? Might as well just drive an automatic...

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