|
Steve Martin: If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.
P.S.: Also, that "View Active Topics" would work properly again.
P.P.S.: And that Slushbox drivers would all be banned from the roadways.
P.P.P.S.: And stop Watkins' head from getting so swelled up. I think it's just going to explode one day and some innocent person nearby might get hurt.
P.P.P.P.S.: And someone go and milk THC daily, lest there be an utter catastrophe and he explodes as well.
P.P.P.P.P.S: And someone please perform an intervention on Leedeth, so he can be cured of his furriness.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And let Noob500000000 win the lottery so he can get to that wish list of his and spend all the money in one day, instantly ficksing the economy.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And let someone, even if it just one someone, like Gizmo.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for Tups, I wish the gift of Global Warming.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for EggwichdelFiere & FDSpirit, passing grades in their transmission classes.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for ElectroGhandi, a fake ID.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for DarkPilot, Dkaz, 4onthefloor and wing0, immunity from body cavity searches if and when they come across the border into the USA.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for 1974Alfa5spd, a Mercedes repair manual, so he can stop getting ript off by his local mechanics.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for Ahtoxa, a can of Crisco, so he won't hit his head on the roof of every car he's ever been in ever again.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for Paul34, a gift certificate for that sex-change operation you have been praying for.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for mtheis, a 5th gear.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for Wannabe, A NEW CAR! (w/AWD, a set of winter tires & Amish, of course)
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for Tinton, another Fiero!
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for CBD, a parts truck to scrounge from to get that Dakota back up to snuff.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for 94Corolla5Speed, a collapsible snow shovel
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: And for those I haven't already mentioned, an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody.
_________________
'08 Jeep Liberty 6-Speed MT - "Last of the Mohicans"
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
