1997 Ford Aspire

[ihartmacz]

Performance: 2
Handling: 6
Practicality: 7
Reliability: 10
Cost to own: 8
Feasibility of Sexual Encounters: 7

Performance: Power comes from a 1.3L Mitsubishi power unit. It develops 75hp with a SOHC 3-valve cylinder head.

Transmission options are a 3-speed automatic (as tested) or a 5-speed manual.

0-60 will take you about 14 seconds with the autobox. It has a good mid-range "punch" but quickly looses breath at high RPMs.

Handling: Good for a little car. Ride was rough, but thats to be expected on an econobox, could take corners really well. Steering was manual an pretty heavy, however it was very direct and communicative.

Practicality: The Aspire's strong suite is practicality! You can fit anything inside of it. You can even put two people in the back! Lots of places for stuff, the car felt more like a Civic inside more than the Metro.

Reliability: This cars transmission has sustained more than a million-billion neutral drops from redline, 30mph reversing, 30mph reverse drops, and much more. The engine has probably sang at redline for an hour during it's life, and the axles were clicking loudly. This car never-ever let my friend down. It always started when it was -10*F outside or had almost no gas in the tank. If you're looking for a car that's cheap and going to be reliable as all hell, this is it for you.


Cost to own: What's better than 30mpg in town, Import reliability, with a Ford badge? Everything is dirt cheap on this car. Even the 13" tires.

Feasibility of Sexual Encounters: You know how they say that a car is an extension of a man's penis? If you're a lady, what's better news than a guy that drives a damned egg? The front console is low and unobtrusive, perfect for making out or getting h**d. When you both are in the mood, it's time to for the girl to straddle you in the comfortable and supportive seats or for you two to fold the seats down and get busy. You can fit a billion (literally) condoms in the glove box, that's what Ford designed the glove box for in the Aspire - billions of condoms.

[theholycow]

This cars transmission has sustained more than a million-billion neutral drops from redline, 30mph reversing, 30mph reverse drops, and much more. The engine has probably sang at redline for an hour during it's life, and the axles were clicking loudly.

that's what Ford designed the glove box for in the Aspire - billions of condoms.

[ihartmacz]

This cars transmission has sustained more than a million-billion neutral drops from redline, 30mph reversing, 30mph reverse drops, and much more. The engine has probably sang at redline for an hour during it's life, and the axles were clicking loudly.

that's what Ford designed the glove box for in the Aspire - billions of condoms.

What's with all the question marks?

[snikro]

0-60: 21 seconds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJwLpcAe1AU

[theholycow]

This cars transmission has sustained more than a million-billion neutral drops from redline, 30mph reversing, 30mph reverse drops, and much more. The engine has probably sang at redline for an hour during it's life, and the axles were clicking loudly.

What's with all the question marks?

Why was it subjected to all those redline neutral drops, 30mph reverse drops, hour-long redline runs, etc? Especially being an Aspire...

[permabanned]

because its a 200-300 dollar car, who cares if it blows up, he would just scrap it and get his money back